我将开始一系列关于我的抑郁联系的帖子,关于一个人遭受抑郁时可能经历的个人症状。我们都见过抑郁症的症状列表。在这里,我想一一深入探讨一下从个人经历来体会这些抑郁的表现是什么样子的。一份医疗清单根本不能说明这些有时会使人虚弱的症状是什么样子的。我将探索其原因,它是什么感觉,它在别人的行为上是什么样子,并提供一些应对这些个体症状的策略。但我需要你的帮助。当我从我自己的经历讲述这些症状的各个方面时,我会问你们一些问题,这样你们就可以帮助其他人应对同样的挑战。听起来好吗?
让我们从“绝望”的症状开始。
什么是绝望?是什么导致绝望?
我个人对绝望的定义是,当你觉得你所做的一切都没有意义,或者对改善你的生活没有帮助。它可以是一种被困在特定生活环境中的感觉,你看不到任何选择。它可能是由多重损失或压力源引起的。我的观点是,绝望的感觉也可能是由童年早期的创伤造成的,那时你对生活环境无能为力,当你长大后,尽管你有更多的机会和选择,这种无助感仍然会继续。绝望导致无助,我们不再感到有能力做出成长或改变的决定。
你个人对绝望的定义是什么?你觉得原因是什么?绝望是什么感觉?
在我的生活中,我有很多次感到绝望。当我面临巨大的经济困难时,我就体会到了这一点,当我还是一个青少年的时候,有时做三份工作只是为了勉强度日。如果一件不好的事情发生了,比如一笔意外的账单或者一件电器坏了,那就是一场大灾难。我记得我努力工作,努力上大学,我在想:“我做这些是为了什么?”I felt hopeless to wish for a better future because it seemed all I did was try to keep the status quo of survival. In the end I persevered and kept going to school and eventually I did get my degrees. I am glad I did. But there were many times I wanted to give up. I have also experienced hopelessness with regard to my depression. It would seem that I would be getting better and then another life stressor or crisis would knock me back to my knees. In those darkest of times I could not see any possibility of a light at the end of the tunnel. I felt trapped by my internal struggle. I would fight so hard just to be sent back into the pits. It seemed so unfair. Where were the efforts of my work?
这种绝望感最糟糕的结果就是无所作为。你坐着等着世界末日的到来,因为你觉得自己已经别无选择了。我去过那里,那是世界上最凄凉的感觉之一。
绝望对你来说是什么感觉?
在世界其他地方,绝望是什么样子的?
虽然我自己也经历过这种情绪,但我总是很难在别人身上看到这种情绪。谈话被“我不能”打断。Any suggestion of options or choices is met with negativity or resistance. There is always some reason they cannot pursue a way of working on their problems. Hopelessness is contagious. It can spread to the people who are offering to help you. It is possible to convince others that indeed, your situation is hopeless. But seldom, if ever, is that the truth of the matter. We all have choices; we just may not like the choices we presently have. I have seen hopelessness up close and personal during some of my internships working with people who had alcohol or drug addictions in addition to mental illness. I remember one man who told me he would die of his addiction. He saw no other options in his life for recovery. He had given up any hope for change. Some months after I had left the program I heard that he had died. Hopelessness in the extreme can cost you your life.
你认为你的绝望在别人眼里是什么样子的?如果你是一个朋友或你爱的人在这些时候试图帮助你,你觉得他们会有什么感觉?一个人能做什么来对抗绝望的感觉?
当我年轻的时候,我有一个很棒的心理医生,我努力应对我的抑郁症。有很多次,我遇到的情况会让我产生和小时候一样的无力感。似乎我对回到孩提时代的情感的学习反应几乎是一种安慰。然后我的治疗师会提醒我:“现在是哪一年?”He would tell me that what was once true of my life as a child is no longer applicable today. Maybe you are faced with a social opportunity and you feel hopeless because as a kid you were teased and bullied. You fear the same responses now. You have to remind yourself, that was then and this is now. You have much more power as an adult to handle life's circumstances.
- 接受是什么。无论你有什么事,都要说,好吧,现在就是这样。有些生活环境是永久的,我们必须调整。但许多生活环境只是暂时的挫折。试着去回忆那些你担心的事情只是暂时的。有些事情可能看起来像世界末日,但当时间过去后回想起来,你会发现这些障碍是可以克服的。
- 给自己一些时间来发泄情绪。在绝望之下是愤怒。对不公平的情况感到愤怒。你是对的,你正在经历的一些事情是非常不公平的。我觉得,与其陷入绝望,还不如发脾气,把这种情绪发泄出来。在这个绝望的国度里,你是在把对生命的责任让给命运。无论我们身处何种困境,我们总是要对自己的生活负责,而不是你的朋友、家人和治疗师。哭,生气,然后选择接受和/或成长。
- 学会依靠别人,在你需要的时候获得支持。做一棵坚忍的树是没有好处的。有时你不能自己做,你需要帮助。这是好的!这比把事情憋在心里然后生气要好得多,因为没有人读懂你的想法,知道你需要帮助。除非你问,否则别人不会知道。寻求帮助和支持与要求别人给我们解决方案而自己却不努力帮助自己是很不一样的。如果人们看到你为改善生活做出了一些努力,无论多么小,他们都会更愿意提供支持和帮助。
你呢?当你感到绝望的时候,什么事情对你帮助最大?请在这里分享这些策略,因为它们可以帮助那些正在挣扎的人。
记住,绝望的反义词是希望。生活本来就是不公平的。有时候你会很痛苦。但我个人认为,你最不应该放弃的就是希望。在我的生命中有那么几次,我只剩下了希望。希望是恢复力和生存的关键。我希望无论接下来发生什么,你都能坚持住。