你是否刚刚遇到一个你想要成为(或已经成为)亲密伙伴的人,想要告诉他/她你得了疱疹?一旦你对疱疹有了一定的了解,并选择了一个理想的地点/地点来讨论你的疾病,那么是时候把猫从袋子里放出来了。虽然每个人对这类新闻的反应都不一样,但是你可以做一些事情来成功地进行讨论。
最重要的是,在和你的伴侣交谈时,要保持冷静。你的伴侣可能会从你那里得到情感暗示,所以你应该小心自己的行为方式。如果你很沮丧,并且认为他/她会拒绝你,那么你只是增加了他/她拒绝你的可能性。试着不要哭,不要表现得好像世界末日到了一样。即使那是你的感觉。
自信地说话(对疱疹的了解将有助于这一点),诚实和事实,而不是耸人听闻或情绪化。提醒他/她,你们讨论这个问题是因为你想要公平并且关心他/她的健康。还要让你的伴侣知道疱疹有多常见;你得了这种病没什么特别的。此外,你应该坦诚与新伴侣亲密关系的风险,并讨论你愿意采取的预防措施(例如抑制疗法、避孕套等)。最后,一定要给对方足够的时间来问他/她自己的问题。
不知道如何开始?我通常是这样做的:
在一个舒服的地方,远离别人的耳朵,我先告诉我的伴侣我有一些我觉得很重要的事情要告诉他。一旦我引起了他的注意,他知道我不是在开玩笑,我就说:“我有疱疹。”(Wow, those three words can be excruciating to get out But once they're out it's such a relief.) Then I ask how much he knows about herpes. Usually the answer is "not much." I then proceed, with my arsenal of information, to describe the prevalence of herpes, the fact that people with herpes get married and have kids without transmitting it, and the fact that I, personally, have had successful relationships without passing it on. (I start out this way to calm them down a bit...no need to give the worst news first.) I then discuss the symptoms of the virus, the frequency of my outbreaks, and the methods I use to combat/prevent outbreaks. I also confirm to him that herpes has no cure. In response to the usual, "Am I at risk of getting the disease?" I respond that, "Yes, there is always a risk of getting the disease. But the risk is higher when I'm having an outbreak, and, if we are careful, we can reduce the risk." I find that it is possible to be completely honest with someone about the implications of the disease and still have a happy ending.
在向你的伴侣透露这些信息后,最好了解一下你的伴侣目前的健康状况。仅仅因为你有一种疾病,并不意味着你对其他疾病免疫。让你感到安慰的是,你可能会发现,在你告诉对方你有疱疹的消息后,你的伴侣可能会回应说:“我也有疱疹!”For me, most partners confess that they haven't actually been tested recently. This may be a good time to ask him/her to get tested, or have both of you get tested again. Your dedication to health will show that you're a mature individual, and will probably garner more respect from your partner. In fact, two men that I told about my herpes actually told me they liked me more后我告诉了他们,因为这表明我是一个多么诚实和体贴的人。我建议在讨论你的健康问题之前不要先询问你的伴侣的健康状况。如果他们感到走投无路,决定对你撒谎,然后你对他们诚实,他们可能会感到羞耻,逃离整个局面。
告诉一个新伴侣你有疱疹肯定是一项艰巨和困难的任务。不幸的是,这是疱疹病毒携带者在我们的余生都要面对的一个问题。好消息是,你和别人讨论得越多,事情就变得越容易。所以赶快处理它吧!另外,这里真正的利害关系是什么?和一个人的关系?好吧,如果那个人真的喜欢你,他/她会接受你得了疱疹。如果你的伴侣做不到这一点,那么——冒着听起来老套的风险——反正也不值得你花时间去做。有很多人会接受你的条件。不要害怕进行筛选,然后找到合适的人选。